This is number one from the Organization: The Horror Drunx Manifesto, and Dick Hollywood has made a solemn vow to live by this rule from this day forward. I agree with the Manifesto and have made an attempt to not patronize Horror Movie Remakes, but I have faltered a few times. This will not be the case with any and all future Horror Movie Remakes!

To understand what I am talking about, I offer you Number 1 from the Horror Drunx Manifesto:


As anyone who has ever pitched a movie idea to a studio can tell you, it is the unwritten rule that every meek motion-picture executives job is to say “NO” to any new idea that is brought to them. “NO” means job security to them, because if they say “YES” and the film loses money for the studio they might lose their job. They know however that they DO also need to say “YES” once in a while to keep their jobs. The safest way for them to say “YES” is to green-light a movie that has a name recognition factor to the public. That is the ONLY reason why you see so many remakes of older movies and television shows being made. It is not in any way a creative or artistic decision, it is a decision ultimately made by a) a bean counter that works in the accounting department, or b) someone whose creative well of original new ideas has dried up and they can’t get any other idea produced. The bottom line is, they can now make a film that has a familiar (presold) title in the public consciousness and they don’t have to spend as much on advertising either. From the beginning, very few producers of remakes even consider it will even do well at the box-office after the opening weekend, so why put any more creative thought into it than is needed to make a quick buck.

As far as The Horror Drunx are concerned, remakes are therefore the domain of the “pukers” (those who chew up the original, then upchuck it) and the “puke eaters” (those who are stupid and tasteless enough consume what the pukers produce). That is why we have a hard time discerning which is worse, the makers of a remake, or those who would see a remake.
Truthfully, when is the last time that you saw a good remake? There is honestly only perhaps one marginally passable remake made every decade. Remakes of films just don’t as a rule do a service to the original.

We have been given the argument by the ignorant and uninformed that: “Remakes are good because they bring attention to the original to people who may not know about it”. This is bullshit. If a remake is a bad film made by someone just out to make a fast buck, it is not going to lure anyone who didn’t already know about the original film to seek it out and see it. More commonly than not they are made by people who are NOT fans of the original. Remakes are done with no respect to the original, other than a jumping off place for the seed of an idea…. That is why you seldom see many of the ingredients that made the original a success, included in a remake.

Where the original often had a lower budget so had to find creative and inexpensive ways to make itself work, the makers of a remake often substitute throwing more money and CGI effects at it. The very idea of a remake denotes that the original and all those who made it were somehow not good enough, so it needed to be remade, therefore no respect to the original is shown. They are also usually made by people that have no creative ties to the original film, except for maybe occasionally including someone in a cameo that was in the original.

We honestly would have less trouble with remakes if they were titled something completely different, took us a direction original enough as to appear new and not draw comparisons, and didn’t rely on the familiar name value of the original. EXAMPLES: The Fly, The Thing, Dawn Of The Dead, The Hills Have Eyes, etc. People like Rob Zombie (with his HALLOWEEN) have tried to fool the public and lie to them by saying it is a “re-visioning” of the original story, but a remake is still a remake no matter what you call it.
The bottom line on remakes as far as The Horror Drunx are concerned is, that story has already been told. Use the time, money and film stock to make a movie with a creative original concept and ideas, not one that degrades our memory of the original.
The final argument people have given us is: “You are never going to stop remakes, so you are doomed from the start”. Wrong. While there have been secluded pockets of people who have disapproved of remakes in the past, The Horror Drunx is the first organization that has made it their policy. We have 60,000 members and are still growing at a fast rate. If those people, who are the target audience for horror films, BOYCOTT a movie and are vocal enough to educate the general public about their reasons for it, that takes money away from feeding the remake monster. Once we are large enough a segment of the target audience population, that will mean a major loss to the income of remakes at the box-office. As soon as it is no longer financially rewarding to release a remake, they will all but stop. So don’t be a weak little puke eater that consumes anything given you… Continue to pay to see remakes, and they will continue to be made. If enough people stop going to see remakes and there will be no reason for anyone to make one.

We are the first anti-remake organization. When we first started, all we got were arguments about it, but we didn’t give up. Someone had to be first and lead the way taking a stand. Now, years later, have already seen the Horror community begin to change through our education. More and more non-Horror Drunx are picking up the NO REMAKES stance too. We won’t stop until there are no more remakes. If that is a lifetime job, so be it, it is what we believe in and what we stand by.

This also why we are against Horror publications and websites that promote remakes. It is just a sellout on their part to fill their pages and make a deadline, as well as make advertising money from the producers of remakes.

Other people may now be picking up our anti-remake torch, but remember that it was US that first fought in the trenches and made it fashionable for them to. We are proud to have had a big part in changing the world in this respect. Now is the time for everyone else to try and catch up with us.

You can check out the full Horror Drunx Manifesto Here!

And remember kiddies: Friends Don’t Let Friends See Horror Movie Remakes! So Says Dick Hollywood

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